(Scratchy in his natural habitat. Bandaged tail hidden….because he’s shy.)
After slicing into poor lizard’s tail at the vet today, the doctor determined it’s not in fact an abscess, but a “fibrous tumor”. First of all, this veterinarian was about all of 5 feet tall, 70 years old at least, and had his entire nose taped to his face with what appeared to be scotch tape as well as masking tape. It was quite difficult to take him seriously after making eye contact. Scratchy only freaked out on him once before he was taken to a different room to drain the abscess that wasn’t an abscess after all.
Dr. McTapey came back in the room, informed me it was a tumor, and then suggested amputating his tail if it gets worse! I wanted so badly to say “it’s not a toomuh!!” in my best Schwarzenegger voice. But I digress…Mr. McTapersons said that the tumor likely isn’t causing any harm so we’ll probably hold off on that trillion dollar vet bill unless things get worse.
Did you guys know a lizard is an exotic pet? I did not. I also did not know when I purchased this guy for Caro 3 years ago that I would have to drive over an hour to have him treated for anything. It’s o.k. though, he’s part of the family and we try to take good care of our captive creatures. Obviously he’s happy to be back in his lizard cage and he just finished munching down on some meal worms, un-phased by his tumor or his bandaged tail.
I dropped Caro off at camp today. Well, not actually at camp, but at a parking lot filled with school buses that would take her to camp. She was so nervous last night and this morning. Nervous Caro is the equivalent of a person that just drank 47 cups of coffee followed by one of those 5 hour energy things. Super hyper, but also kinda sketched out by everything.
Example: We are waiting with all of the other parents/kids on the outskirts of the group and Caro is scanning the crowd saying “that looks like Heather, there goes Caydence, that’s Annie, there’s that one girl that I met that one time at gymnastics, oh hey! That’s fake Kadence!” (Fake Kadence is apparently how she keeps the many Kadences and Caydences separate in her 11 year old head.)
And then there’s me. “Go talk to them. Go say “hi” if you see someone you know.” “Uh Uh”, she says while twirling her hair and moving her head back and forth so fast I wonder if she’s having a seizure. Not having it. She continues her search while biting her nails and pacing in place. Until….she sees someone that she actually really knows and then she runs off and forgets I ever existed. Thank god. I can’t imagine sending that child to camp without knowing anyone. She would have lost her damn mind.
Of course I cried the moment she got onto the bus and quickly fake waved at me from the window. She’ll be back in 5 days, exhausted, and with a whole new slew of names she’ll “know” at future gatherings.
Meanwhile, I have to take Scratchy the dragon to the vet. He seems to have a blister/abscess/tumor on his tail and I just cannot wait to load a feisty lizard into a cage for his first car trip an HOUR away along with my super sleepy Izzy that has not stopped complaining since she got home from her dad’s this morning. Let the fun times roll ya’ll!!